To feel deeply is a beautiful thing. Many times we can feel and it is overwhelming to the senses. This can be incredibly magical, but feelings aren't always the peaceful ones. As humans, we came to this Earth to experience a far range of emotions and a lot of experiences can be heart wrenching. For years I was trapped in a cycle of pain. It had become all I knew and the feeling was so normal that it was my comfort zone. It was my story. Eventually that shit got old and after a while I became angry.
I have since learned that anger is a great tool to help you know when you need to protect yourself and others. Your boundaries have been crossed and you need to examine why you are feeling this way. When you don't listen and suppress it then anger can lead to rage and mine was leaking everywhere. I knew I wasn't happy, but I had no idea how to feel at peace again. I talked to family/friends and it would help but I felt like I was on repeat. For years. So I looked for professional help and got therapy. One of the best investments you can make is in yourself. We invest so much in our physical health, but mental health often goes overlooked. Popping a pill or having a drink is so normal in our society for handling our intense feelings. While I don't discredit the times these can be necessary I do also believe in digging deep if this has become a pattern more than a necessary coping mechanism.
(My sun sign is Cancer...can you tell? Let's dig.)
Very long story short...when I FINALLY surrendered the comfort of my numbness to vulnerability it became clear how much I had been blocking out of my life. When you isolate your heart from potential pain it creates a wall around you that doesn't let anything in for growth. It is important to be wise in who you let into your energy field, but if you never open yourself to the world you'll never know what beauty you could be missing. Trust your intuition to guide you and that YOU are protected by a power higher than we could ever imagine. You can open your heart but still discern where and when to be careful. Tread lightly. Giving your power away to fear only increases fear. To be heard, seen, and held deeply enough to remember and let go is something I want to help others experience. Remember and let go. If you don't want something to be your story anymore. Write, talk, or paint it out. Whatever you are capable of doing. Then you can move on to the next chapter. You don't have to pretend like it never happened, but if you don't enjoy the beauty of the present you can miss your whole life. What makes you feel alive? What gives you hope? Who do you admire? Let go of your ego so that you can grow. I don't want to miss the magic of now by living in my past. Lessons are learned, but I refuse to be in chains any longer. I want to fly. I want to believe in my imagination. Create my reality and share it with all of you, Let's leave this Earth a better place than we found it and that responsibility belongs to each of us.